Baby Shark - do do dodododo

The korean’s single most influential contribution to the world, yes even more so than Gangnam style, is the impressively stupid song referenced above. 

If you don’t believe me, you are not a parent. If you are a parent, and still don’t believe me, you are an absentee parent. If you are not an absentee parent and you have in fact, changed a diaper oozing with a sentient shit more voluminous than the baby that has produced it which is not only capable of burning the middle aged hair now growing in your nostrils right off but also transcend the safety of brick walls to introduce itself to the neighbors with a Hi, I’m the king of stink at 3 am, after having fallen asleep at 2 am from sheer exhaustion and near deadly bouts of ohfuckwhathaveidoneism, without having to resort to either playing this little ditty on your smartphone, or worse (much much worse) yet, singing it in whatever raspy, weepy sounds you can produce in this, the darkest, stinkiest, lowest moments of your existence, then please, Sensei, teach me for I am lost unto myself with this parenting bullshit. Or better you fuck off and die you holier than I piece of shit who had everything easy in life and make your living off of fake happy face videos on Instagram only and specifically to make me and my wife feel like failures as we watch your stupid stories with eyes red with rage and sleep deprivation and wonder ohwhatthefuckhaveidone!

But if you do believe me, then, hello friend, do dododododo…


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