A question of social decorum.
I need an answer before I can post the story which gives rise to this question.
Ladies, those of you who wear the latest lo-risers with T-shirts, exactly what is a person to do who spots you bending over, let’s say to scope out a low book shelf, and expose in the act less than savory amounts of your butt crack?
What exactly is the custom, the protocol in such a situation? Do we, as men, simply retain our age old position as shameless voyeurs and giggle at your compromised modesty reveling in the misconception that since you wear such clothes, you suddenly and automatically become fodder for our wanking sessions?
Or do we act like the mature and god fearing and civilized human beings and as politely as we can bring the faux passé to your notice?
Or perhaps, we jump into selfishness and simply block the way our by standing right behind you to ogle away in solitude while our brethren quietly simmer away?
Really? What the hell are we supposed to do? The most obvious answer to this question doesn’t really go down so well in practice and the other possibilities suggested to me by other men I used to call friends don’t go down so well with my own personal sense of propriety. So I’m reduced to being crass and must ask with a deliberate lack of subtlety as to what the hell do you want us to do
Comments
If you dont want to be seen, dont wear such stuff. This is 2006, no one is stupid enough to know that sex doesnt sell. If you really want to wear a low rise denim, your options would be:
a) Dont bend over, ask the guy checking you out to pick it up for you .(he'll be checking you out either way whether you bend over or not).
b) Bend over..and show him what he's been waiting for ;) (The guy scores! :P)
c) Just stand there and wait for the coast to be clear (which means never)
I mean, come on we're all humans with raging harmones :P
Voyuerism is the way to go ;)
So, pick up a picky! ;)
you stare, you grin and you walk away.
its her ass, her 'modesty' and her problem.
your just an innocent bystander :)
However, if she's wearing it and is 'unaware' of the situation or pretending to be... a good idea would be to signal her that she's showing some serious flesh and needs to do something about it. That way the guy scores (cause he gets to check it out AND becomes the good guy for pointing it out that she should do sumfing bout it)... and the girl gets embarassed :P or falls in love with the decent guy.
And they live happily ever after.
*phew* long comment. Sorry
Dat is The highly humiliating situation, a gurl can get herself into. if tht happens in fronta me, believe me i luv goin upto da "seemingly" unconcious gurl n sayin "lady, u shud take care of ur not-so-impressive cleavage..."
Gurls...
>if u lyk showing it off dun get pissed whn dats wot da bystanders r doin.
>if u lyk wearin latest stuff whether it suits u or not.. lyk angels-cry said: Dun bend! --learn to be civilised.
AND getting to ur querry, sajjad if u spot a gurl in tht position and get glared at for "spoting" her-- go spank (yes, S-p-a-n-k) her ryt at that unveiled asset b4 u. Then. Walk away. this will work wonders. lolz.. i meant for da gurl, she'll learn her much-needed lesson!
Ps. sorry u wont be given credits for The Decent Guy, here. for tht--tune to psycho.
Hoot. whistle. Get a bag of popcorns. If girl reacts "in the negative" , say somthin like " you ign'ant mo'afo'er, cover yourself up proper " and resume.
use camera phone as tool. use your blog as blackmail. if girl indifferent, bring the big ol' photoshop. follow rich girls wearing low's. get rich quick scheme # 1.
but on a serious note, u r right in asking as to 'what' is a person to say... the polite root is to ignore and proceed. telling the girl str8 up will probably offend her at worst, embarass at worst... and u risk being under attack from a ragin low-wearin girl who is screamin at u for being 'tharkee' and then u just watch the 'brothers' line up...
but u tellin her str8up, even in a polite way will make her more cautious in the future.
anyway, i think one of the commenters said it right.... it depends on the figure :) if that is a fat oosing over flowing ass, close your eyes say your prayers and hope that you don't go blind..... otherwise, I think she is wearing thw low risers for a reason and that is to attract attention....... :)
Disco: Yup, in the land of the Pakis, I have come to notice how ignorance is often the smartest and the easiest way out of anything that calls on our responsibility as a civilized society. So your take makes a whole lot of sense, logically speaking. Not that i would feel like shit about not telling a ‘sister’ about her exposed ass cleavage in a store full of animals, but still I used to give women in general the benefit of the doubt to not be such rampant attention whores as to knowingly put less than flattering kinds of cleavage on display and then when called on it throw a fit just so they get as much attention as they possibly can.
Psycho: I think you’re still living in a dream. This is Pakistan lady, there are no good guys here, every guy who spies your ass on display is thinking sodomy. With or without the benefit of cleavage. And the one who actually does come up to you to put a stop to the rampant tongue wagging isn’t the good guy, he’s barely the boldest one who has the nerve to call yoru bluff in an attempt to embarrass you. That’s how it seems Pakistani minds work. I gotta go with DP here, just ignore it and let the girl be the slut she wants to be. Most probably she is doing it on purpose. Most probably she wants to give random men fodder for their next wanking session. Even if she doesn’t she probably isn’t worth the hassle anyway. Her ass isn’t worth me getting humiliated over. That’s how the Pakis do it, and therefore that’s how the Paki’s get dealt with too. It’s a sad state of affairs, true, but unfortunately, in a society like ours where being able to wear lo-risers is a declaration of sorts in itself, showing ass through them I suppose is the next step towards freedom. Or something.
Mistery: Okay. You want be killed, that’s all I can see. Spank an ass in Pakistan, where pointing one out to the person whom the ass belongs to earns you nothing but a verbal assault spanking would I’m sure earn a be-heading. No thankyou, maybe you as a woman can get away with it. I don’t even wanna put my hand there. My eyes are pissed off enough at me as it is. The concept of decency here is ignorance. The concept of proactive behavior too, is ignorance Infact I think our solution to every problem is to ignore it till it goes away. And as any one with a brain can conclude, that is what is basically our problem, not the solution to anything at all.
Moody: I was eager to hear from my level headed brother, I must confess. And as expected you along with Dp have provided the most sensible solution. The fact that it is less than what our responsibilities as humanoids dictates is a sad reflection on the kind of society that is breeding us not ourselves. How someone can assume that I’m being tharkee by informing someone that what she might not want exposed is exposed fails to make sense to me, but that is exactly what does happen and therefore I believe in a person’s own interest it’s best to let the lady be gawked at and walk away.
Anon: I get the sinking feeling that you ARE the girl who’s the subject of this post. This is quite a bit like the reaction I received from her. Thing is, when someone with such a vehement expression of her point of view does so without the guts to put a name to her point of view I see no reason to honor such point of view as anything other than blabbering. So sorry, honey, whatever you had to say gets overshadowed by the lack of confidence your posting without a name exposes.
But just so you know, this isn’t a commentary on how a women dresses, this is about how she carries herself. The clothes you wear don’t expose your characters, just your taste.
Only when you’re showing your butt crack you’re not telling me to go screw myself, you’re asking me to come screw you. In the ass no less. And that’s just disgusting, lady. Maybe you’d do better in a harem than a book store. The decorum we associate with educated people demands a certain degree of respect to be shown to your surroundings. You don’t go to office dressed in your PJs. You don’t expose you butt crack in public. Fairly cut and dry rules really. But if you think just because you’re of the 21st century and have ‘freedom’ to show your ass whenever and wherever you may so please, go screw yourself. You know what, screw ignorance. If this is the kind of mentality that causes women to intentionally show ass, I’m gonna call you on it. Fuck you and your anger and your embarrassment. Fuck even the assholes who’re gonna pile up on me for trying to get you to cover up and put an end to their peep show. You want attention, ho, you got it!
Zag: I expected civility. And for the most part, I got it. And I got an answer to. Thing is, this question wasn’t posted because I have something against a nice rear end. I like it as much as any other guy and when shown clad in tight fitting whatevers it makes a fine sight too. Plus there is the express knowledge that the lady displaying her assets is doing so fully knowing what she’s doing. When it comes to exposed butt cracks though, it’s a grey area where intention comes into question and I just don’t feel satisfied wondering whether she is actually aware of what she is doing. I feel its every person’s duty, irrespective of sex, to bring accidental exposure to the notice of the person being exposed. Why? Not because I’m automatically the brother or father of the girl in question, heaven knows that is not what I want to be to every woman I spot on the road, but because as a society it is our duty to watch out for each other. I’d call a guy on it too. And I’d appreciate being called on it if its my ass hanging out over my trousers. Its just an embarrassing situation to be in and if you’re doing it without knowing about it, I think you deserve to know.
I was all for ignorance until Anon’s comment now it seems that the path of least resistance isn’t by any means the path worth taking.
I asked the same question today. we live in some sortof connected realities.
college has suddenly becum an extremely tasteless, vulgar,free for all display of anterior and posterior regions that makes u cringe to teh soul.
To top it off dont bluddy well wear duppattas that u cant handle in order to cover up your off shoulder AND plunging, non-existent necklines, specially those chiffon like materials that are good for nothing if u actualy r trying to cover up, but then who r u fooling, they r just to grba more of that sick attention.trust me our guy friends get repulsed too
The blog does too.
beknighted, i'm afraid thats not true.
your question is quite a funny one about how to handle the situation, because i am sure its something that does not occur to most women (who would have thunk that men get thrown off by any real life display of flesh??).
unfortunately, we have the fashion industry to blame for this because 'high waisted' jeans no longer really exist and if they do, they tend to make one look uglier & fatter than they are. so low waisted ones are the way to go. they should always be worn with an appealing undergarment, because in case something DOES show, it should only be a peek of the lacy underwear/thong – anything beyond that is a serious ‘wardrobe malfunction’ - trust me, I am pretty sure no girl actually intends to display her butt crack (unless they’re supermodels) because generally, its not the most attractive part of our bodies. however, i dont think any girl would like to be told by ANY stranger (male or female) that their ass is hanging out...its just definitely embarrassing. had you come up to ME and told me, you would have also gotten a very cold "so?" and i would have pretended that it was what i intended all along even if i'd go home and cry with embarrassment and vow never to go within 10 feet of that bookstore!
all that said & done, exposed butt cracks OR cleavages or any part of our bodies are NOT invitations to come screw our brains out - that’s the kinda skewed logic that rapists come up with and very, very scary. contrary to what most males think, women DO tend to dress for themselves and they like to feel sexy (for themselves – generally to get them in the mood to give some sweet lovin’ to whatever unattractive male they have waiting back home). you may happen to look at these women and agree that they look sexy but it is not (always) for YOU (you, as in all the men out there who happen to lay eyes on these women).
and finally, ignore it when you see the next butt hanging out and spread the word amongst the women you know about the fact that they should be careful (esp in pakiland) and that it provides fodder for wanking sessions for many a male (which is something many of them may naively be unaware of).
this brings us to the end of my essay on ‘dealing with butt cracks for dummies’. for any further questions, please email me.
Ignoring, myt be The Best solution(in pakistan) but u knw lettin a person know is always more politer than keepin him/her apparently "uninformed"( in basic etiquettes)... But tht jus ends here.
Generally, no gurl wudnt know wot part of her body "myt" show if she bends/turns/raises her arms etc. In ths case here, she will be aware of wots goin arnd her if she being gaped at and SINCE she is aware but delibrately wants to show it off still n WUD get offended, n create a scene jus to look a lil more "innocent" in the eys of others, Should she be informed. Then, sajjad (My outrageous ans actually went out to THOSE "outrageous" ladies who are fairly well aware OF WOT exactly is goin on. its not an ans as to how u shud react to them its HOW to teach them not to do it again in future)
But ofcourse! SINCE its PAKISTAN it cant really be followed. Now lyk u said sajjad, it goes same for every human being, guys gurls, aunts, uncles etc to be informed of their sumthin-sumthin tht proves to be embarrassin in public.. u knw i wz EXACTLY in da same position in MY uni sumtym ago(No, i dint spank anybdy; it wznt all tht practical i agree) i noticed this guys crack walkin in fronta me, so i took my tym reached da cafe n told HIS FRIEND dat ask him to "pull his pants up everybdy's noticing it" -- i didnt say "cover his butt" or "i saw his cleavage!", incase he thinks im interested in his private places, n God help me!, thinks of me as sumthin um.. else.
Anyhu, the above done to "tht" gurl myt snap her to her senses if sum other lady is arnd i guess(who, im sure, must have noticed it too) ... n save u frm direct accusation of being a n ogler.
*phew* hope i proved my point here.. n No i dun wanna be killed for sumone who's guilty to start with.
take care..
(im hopin u didnt have a hard tym)
ciao!
alryt n lets not judge tht gurl at da bookstore all wrong too.. maybe she thot its k to bend n quickly pick up book n maybe nobdy wud notice. (im givin her a benefit of doubt) n dats whn sajjad hppnd to witness it--(an assumption: no sarcasm intended) n so well, dat lead to ths WHOLE discussion brought fwd by him.
So, woteva da case, willingly bendin in public or not... dressing for urself or not.. a human being in a society shud be informed (indirectly atleast) of any embarrassin thing on display. my shawl stuck outside my car door wud be classified as "Embarrassin thing" for me-- coz tht jus proves u CAN BE Careless at tyms.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Carelessness can prove to be dangerous at tyms, whatever the circumstance. So, do ur duty to the society and let the concerned person be aware of it. Rest is not ur headache.
Peace!
the reaction was definately understandable.. u knw sajjad.. every woman gets sick of having to deal with the burden of her sexuality, the reaction that anon. did portray was at the least relatable.
though i must say , every woman that might end up showing her butt crack in this case, isnt inviting a dick in it.. that is jus how society downloads it as... jus as n the old'n gold'n days.. showing too much of leg and shoulder wud.
its a very complicated situation. wat i wud follow jus to simplify this highly deep topic wud be.
be urself but freedom comes with a cost... jus be ready to pay the price... i'd say most of the times its worth it.. hehe
peace!!!
oh, did i just hate on fat people? yeah. :D
when im up to no good, i say astagfirallah REAL loud and then laugh even louder while looking somewhere else :D its fun to see the look on everyones face wondering what that was all about :D
i saw this weally fat one today, in this weally weird dress, and me being the uncultured thing i be, burst out laffing righ ton her face. i couldnt help it. she was fully dressed in a skin colored attires except for the part of her dress imitating a black mini skirt and a bikini top. sheesh. i mean. lol. hahahaha. she was so fat, it looked so weird on her, all bulging here and there. hilarious site. peopel started laffing coz they knew what i as laffing at. but i swear i didnt mean to be mean. hahaha damn thinking of the site still makes me laff.
once, i entered one of my labs and i get the shock of my life seeing a girl sit back facign me), i thought she forgot to wear her trousers all together. thats how low her trousers went when she sat down, u coudlnt see em. just a uhmm, b.crack. hahahahaha. took me a while to figure. thats the first thing u saw when u entered the lab. a girl who forgot to wear half her clothes.
they either make me laff like crazy, or puke. i prefer it when its the former coz then im not pissed off. i like it especially if its a weally fat one, coz its ok to laff at them. :D like, if u have the right to wear that, then i sure as hell have a right to laff :D
anony prolly likes xposing :D
but like hey, everyone makes fun of me for being skinny! so i can make fun of fat people :D even!
You poor guys!!!!!:))))))))))