The Predicament
The threshold to a whole new world is a freaking frightening place. And why wouldn't it be? It sounds charming as fuckall when Aladdin sings it to Jasmine atop a flying Persian carpet but man, imagine a world, a whole freaking world chock full of laws and rules and social mores you just don't understand. Where things you took to mean everything mean nothing substantial at all and the shit you never wasted a second thought on is akin to the divine edict! Gravity is no longer holding you tethered firmly and comfortingly to the earth beneath your feet but hurtling you head first towards an openness, a limitless sky scape of possibilities the sheer magnitude of which threatens to make your head explode.
Its not charming like Aladdin's crooked smile.
Its not enticing like Jasmine's hinted cleavage.
It's not even endearing like a god damned genie's over the top antics.
Its Robin Williams committed suicide scary instead. All of s sudden you know, you know? You know why someone like him could be driven to such a melodramatic climax. Its the sheer weight of what lies before you man, its the sheer fucking significance of each-and-every-step-you-take. Its daunting as hell knowing once and for all that there is not net to catch you, there is no second chance. There is survival of course, but at what cost? Its Robin Williams committed suicide and you can understand why scary is what it and there is no joy to found on any of the horizons you can choose to meander towards.
There is only uncertainty. And its enough to make you return to a blog you once wrote to exorcise the demon of lost love from your soul and in the process turned into the only place in the whole world where you do not fear to be as honest as you dare be. Its enough to make you return to this most holy and sanctimonious of all places and
desecrate the shit out of it. By taking down (and slyly putting back up) the obscured but obvious picture of an ex so old that even her kids don't love her anymore; by updating to a new template that makes your blog look less like a place you come to expose the genitals of your soul and more like a high end whore that can pull more tangible tricks; by plastering fucking Google ads all over it because the most honest you can be now is to say (to paraphrase Bill Maher): I'm in bitches, gimme money!
But like pretty much everything else in life, it is what it is. You live, you learn, you learn to forget. You learn to keep learning till there is nothing left to learn or there is nothing left of you and until that comes to pass, I write.Its a whole new world out there but I am still the same. I write, I write, I write!
Its not charming like Aladdin's crooked smile.
Its not enticing like Jasmine's hinted cleavage.
It's not even endearing like a god damned genie's over the top antics.
Its Robin Williams committed suicide scary instead. All of s sudden you know, you know? You know why someone like him could be driven to such a melodramatic climax. Its the sheer weight of what lies before you man, its the sheer fucking significance of each-and-every-step-you-take. Its daunting as hell knowing once and for all that there is not net to catch you, there is no second chance. There is survival of course, but at what cost? Its Robin Williams committed suicide and you can understand why scary is what it and there is no joy to found on any of the horizons you can choose to meander towards.
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| An illustration of an X. An extinct mammal that once proudly roamed this wasteland |
desecrate the shit out of it. By taking down (and slyly putting back up) the obscured but obvious picture of an ex so old that even her kids don't love her anymore; by updating to a new template that makes your blog look less like a place you come to expose the genitals of your soul and more like a high end whore that can pull more tangible tricks; by plastering fucking Google ads all over it because the most honest you can be now is to say (to paraphrase Bill Maher): I'm in bitches, gimme money!
But like pretty much everything else in life, it is what it is. You live, you learn, you learn to forget. You learn to keep learning till there is nothing left to learn or there is nothing left of you and until that comes to pass, I write.Its a whole new world out there but I am still the same. I write, I write, I write!
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