Kyoun?
Told me newphew not drink the ice cold coke... kyoun he asked.
Told him politely cuz mommy doesn't allow it... he looked away for a second, turned back to me looked up with them puppy dog eyes and asked kyoun?
'Beta gala kharab ho jaye ga"
A lil pout followed by the flame of curiosity which has long been dead in my eyes "kyoun?"
I'm not a patient man.
When i was a lil younger and less concerned about the indellible consequences of my actions on teh psyche of lil children, right abt now i wud have rendered my infamous 'ghoori' and ended the inquisition, If the child had persisited, then violence wud have ensued, a nice, crisp slap across the face will stop every discussion every time.
But now, i'm a Mamoon, the full implication of that title has dawned on me only recently. The importance of setting a good example, of being polite and courteous, of hugs and i love yous and discipline and stern but patient orders even in the face of a raucous child, dancing butt naked on a dinner plate to a song only he can hear in his head...
But kyoun... It sets me off... i knew well enough that my lil cuddle bunny nephew is too young to know how to use this word simply to annoy the hell out of someone, as i'm sure every udru speaking person has done at some point in thier lives, i still do... but i also knew he cud see the anger rising in my eyes. Yet he continued to look at me with blinking, bright, un corrupted eyes that had no bitterness, no knowledge, no awareness of the real world in them. Just a curiosity, just the excitment of having found something new to investigate, to figure out... he just genuinely didn't know why he cudn't have a coke when he wanted to while all the 'grown ups' were sipping and oohing... sip after sip he saw us bring the glass to our lips and give that almost smile that no one ever recognizes, as soon as the caffiene swirls down the gullet. He understood the slight ecstacy of it, just not why some thing so simple is off bounds for him.
"Melay palay bachay" i intoned in that excruciatnigly irritating baby speak which i hate but have seen to really work with children, gave him a kiss on the forehead, sat him in my lap and started to explain to him how cold is bad for out throats in the winters for reasons i don't even know. He didn't need the right reasons, he wouldn't even remember what i told him for more than a week, he just needed attention, he needed to be more important than this nectar he was being denied.
Thts what kids are for, it seems. To remind us of honesty, and its short life span in human nature. He lies already. He lies to get out of trouble, tries to hide the mistakes he's made, i'm certain thts not learned behavior, thts just instinct... Survival is teh primary objective to every animal. The innocence has already begun to waver a lil in him, he's still a long way i hope from the one big loss that almost invariably is the final epiphany that kills the innocence within, but yeah the corrosion of human nature has begun. I guess as soon as they start to speak, to talk, is when it starts. And yet so much of itis there, so much beauty of the untampered human spirit.
So much so that even though i know for a fact that its only a matter of time, 15-20 yrs at best before all that is good withing him becomes circumstancial and virtous instead of natural and instinctive, that i find myself completely distraught over the existence of that reality. I find myself hoping that maybe somehow i can change the world so drastically that his innocence may remain his salvation rather than his weakness. I, the self proclaimed pessimist of the mellinia, hoping for a better tommorow.
Kyoun?
Becoz he deserves it.
Kyoun?
because i deserved it.
Kyoun?
because its our brith right
kyoun?
because we are children of the Almighty.
Kyoun?
becasue he chose to create us.
Kyoun?
so we can hope for better tommorows
kyoun?
so we can find conviction in that hope
kyoun?
so we can use that conviction to try and make a difference
kyoun?
because the effort itself is the difference
Kyoun?
u'll know when u grow up
kyoun?
"Boom"- grown up head exploding
"slap" - innocence one step closer to death
This is why patience is considered a virtue. And no i've never hit my nephews, when his questioning gets this tiresome i pretend to be dead which sends him into doctor save life mood which is much more pleasurable for me since it usually involves him running upp and down my back which happens to feel like a fairly adequate message, not life giving but certainly rejuvinating, and the questioning delayed till another day. But whenever it comes, there will be no contribution from me towards the defeat of his spirit.
Told him politely cuz mommy doesn't allow it... he looked away for a second, turned back to me looked up with them puppy dog eyes and asked kyoun?
'Beta gala kharab ho jaye ga"
A lil pout followed by the flame of curiosity which has long been dead in my eyes "kyoun?"
I'm not a patient man.
When i was a lil younger and less concerned about the indellible consequences of my actions on teh psyche of lil children, right abt now i wud have rendered my infamous 'ghoori' and ended the inquisition, If the child had persisited, then violence wud have ensued, a nice, crisp slap across the face will stop every discussion every time.
But now, i'm a Mamoon, the full implication of that title has dawned on me only recently. The importance of setting a good example, of being polite and courteous, of hugs and i love yous and discipline and stern but patient orders even in the face of a raucous child, dancing butt naked on a dinner plate to a song only he can hear in his head...
But kyoun... It sets me off... i knew well enough that my lil cuddle bunny nephew is too young to know how to use this word simply to annoy the hell out of someone, as i'm sure every udru speaking person has done at some point in thier lives, i still do... but i also knew he cud see the anger rising in my eyes. Yet he continued to look at me with blinking, bright, un corrupted eyes that had no bitterness, no knowledge, no awareness of the real world in them. Just a curiosity, just the excitment of having found something new to investigate, to figure out... he just genuinely didn't know why he cudn't have a coke when he wanted to while all the 'grown ups' were sipping and oohing... sip after sip he saw us bring the glass to our lips and give that almost smile that no one ever recognizes, as soon as the caffiene swirls down the gullet. He understood the slight ecstacy of it, just not why some thing so simple is off bounds for him.
"Melay palay bachay" i intoned in that excruciatnigly irritating baby speak which i hate but have seen to really work with children, gave him a kiss on the forehead, sat him in my lap and started to explain to him how cold is bad for out throats in the winters for reasons i don't even know. He didn't need the right reasons, he wouldn't even remember what i told him for more than a week, he just needed attention, he needed to be more important than this nectar he was being denied.
Thts what kids are for, it seems. To remind us of honesty, and its short life span in human nature. He lies already. He lies to get out of trouble, tries to hide the mistakes he's made, i'm certain thts not learned behavior, thts just instinct... Survival is teh primary objective to every animal. The innocence has already begun to waver a lil in him, he's still a long way i hope from the one big loss that almost invariably is the final epiphany that kills the innocence within, but yeah the corrosion of human nature has begun. I guess as soon as they start to speak, to talk, is when it starts. And yet so much of itis there, so much beauty of the untampered human spirit.
So much so that even though i know for a fact that its only a matter of time, 15-20 yrs at best before all that is good withing him becomes circumstancial and virtous instead of natural and instinctive, that i find myself completely distraught over the existence of that reality. I find myself hoping that maybe somehow i can change the world so drastically that his innocence may remain his salvation rather than his weakness. I, the self proclaimed pessimist of the mellinia, hoping for a better tommorow.
Kyoun?
Becoz he deserves it.
Kyoun?
because i deserved it.
Kyoun?
because its our brith right
kyoun?
because we are children of the Almighty.
Kyoun?
becasue he chose to create us.
Kyoun?
so we can hope for better tommorows
kyoun?
so we can find conviction in that hope
kyoun?
so we can use that conviction to try and make a difference
kyoun?
because the effort itself is the difference
Kyoun?
u'll know when u grow up
kyoun?
"Boom"- grown up head exploding
"slap" - innocence one step closer to death
This is why patience is considered a virtue. And no i've never hit my nephews, when his questioning gets this tiresome i pretend to be dead which sends him into doctor save life mood which is much more pleasurable for me since it usually involves him running upp and down my back which happens to feel like a fairly adequate message, not life giving but certainly rejuvinating, and the questioning delayed till another day. But whenever it comes, there will be no contribution from me towards the defeat of his spirit.
Comments
I know teh feeling...Gotto deal with it too...Thanks to my two yr old niece and nephew.
but its a feeling I wouldnt exchange for the world and a half.
it post gives me hope :)